He's My Valentine All Year

49 years and counting! My hubby and I have gone up and down the slippery slopes of long marriages, enjoyed the view from the high points and endured through the low points. I can get mad at him; you cannot!

We met and wrote letters for a month, then dated for another two months and then married just before Christmas. Romantic? Yes, very! Would we recommend it? There are saner ways to begin a marriage. Was it passionate? You betcha! Are we glad we did it. Yes! Have we ever had second thoughts? Yes, but fortunately we have not both had those thoughts at the same time. One of us has always been actively pursuing the relationship even when the other was coasting.

I am an easy laugher (crier too). Dave not so much. He teases to distraction, I sometimes play jokes. We have laughed at the fact that while I am a romantic, he is the one who remembers birthdays, anniversaries, and valentines. We once heard a marriage homily which directed the partners to remember why they married each other not only on their anniversary but monthly on their anniversary date.

He was to bring home something nice -- not just roadside market flowers because he saw them, but something that he put time and thought in because he was glad he married her. It did not have to be expensive but it had to contain his gratefulness. She was to do something nice for him outside the routine of what a woman does to keep meals, clothing, and cleaning in order. It did not have to be extravagant, but it needed her time and attention and thought about why she was glad she married him.

On the 23rd of a given month, not our anniversary month, I arrived home from work and found a beautiful rose in my chair. I was delighted but asked why it was there. That happened 2 more months and I didn't catch on. At midnight on special days, it is often Dave who wakes to wish me Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, or Happy Anniversary. When I get it right, it is grand.

I on the other hand will bring him wood violets in the spring. I will tell him about things I've seen. I will serve him by making sure something is within arms reach by his favorite chair, make his "puffy omelet", never give him underwear or socks for Christmas.

We are an odd pair with very little in common as far as books, movies, music, entertainment, etc. But we have our crazy-quilt life that when looked back on is pretty amazing. Sure there are worn spots, there are also some stitches missing (you know, one stitch short of a seam!). But there is a beautiful design. Someday when we are looking down from Heaven, we will see the entire quilt. Love you, Dave.